I'll Never "Get It"

     Long week for me.  Circumstances, events and relationships just weren't coming through for me the way that I would have wanted.  Can you relate?  I struggled to believe.  Everyday. Overwhelmed and frustrated as I sought to believe the gospel, but it just didn't seem to be bringing me the peace that it has in the past.  Where was God in all this?  You know, those days when you come upon a hardship, God gives you the grace to find the gospel message in the midst of it and it calms all of your fears and gives you stability?  This just wasn't happening for me.   I found short, but not in depth moments in the Word, my journal.  My day would continue with anxieties mounting.  Life was about ME.  
     This weekend I had more extended time with Jesus and He revealed something to me that I want to share with you.  This does not seem that profound, but for me it was!  The enemy was planting a lie in my head that once I "got" the gospel and had received it that it was there to stay.  I was healed.  It was something to be achieved....I would "arrive".  All I had to do was remember what the gospel meant to me and quote it in my head in a very rote way.  (Chanting a mantra of "I'm a well provided for daughter and my righteousness is in Christ.")  I knew that this was true but no peace was there. You see, life quickly becomes more about me and less about HIM.  Struggle.
     God showed me that the gospel is like water.  I can be very thirsty and go to drink but I will get thirsty again.  Just quoting my position in Christ, although this is beneficial, doesn't take the place of long, quiet, private, personal worship.  He wants to show it to me everyday in different ways through His Word.  Dependence on Him to do this strengthens my faith in ways that are unimaginable.  "Because we can never leave off sinning (unbelief), we can never leave off the gospel."  All for His glory.


Here are some powerful questions that Elyse Fitzpatrick writes in a book called Because He Loves Me.  (highly recommend)

1.  If I were to tell you that this book was a book about God's love for you, would it make you want to yawn?  What does God's love mean to you today?

2.  Are you more focused on your performance for Him or His performance for you?

3.  At the end of the day is there a rest in your soul because of Him or is there a guilt and a determination that tomorrow you're going to "do better"?

4.  Do you still feel the need to prove that you're not "all that bad"?  Do you get angry when people criticize or ignore you?

5.  You know that Jesus is the Door.  Do you see how He is your life?  Could you tell me exactly how He has transformed your daily life?

Quote John 3:16 out loud .  

Now quote it again with the purpose of hearing the gospel message that God has for you today, right now, right where you are.  This is a message for the believer...not just the unbeliever!  Write this passage in your journal using the words "me" and "I" in first person.  Focus on the word "believe".  Define the word "believe" for your every day life.